Bliss

The room is dark,

but I can still see your face.

There is none

that could be a better place.

Your eyes wander

from side to side.

Do you dream of snowy mountains?

Of golden meadows?

Of the ocean's tides?

A lock of your hair tries to conceal

a part of you away from me.

I slide it back in place.

I must gaze upon you in entirety.

Your lips tremble

if I try to move away.

Lay still I will

till its finally day.

You snuggle in closer.

My pulse races like a freight train.

Yes, I am addicted.

You are my cocaine.

It is almost daybreak.

The sun will be here soon.

Why can't this night last forever?

Why do you have to leave O moon?

Your eyes open up slowly.

You say Good morning.

I have no words to speak,

rendered speechless by your beauty, darling.

How could you?

I was perfectly fine
drinking my sorrows away.
You came bearing light.
It was the dawn of a new day.

You gave me hope.
Showed me a way.
But in the end,
all you did was betray.

You took away the hope.
Shattered all the dreams.
Just for a prettier face
& shinier things it seems.

You made such promises.
Turned my I's to We's.
What did he have that I didn't?
Diamonds on his P?

There were signs, red flags even.
But I chose to trust and ignore.
I was warned by JD, Mahak
and many more.

How could you hate your own last name
so much that anything else would do?
All you had to do was wait.
I would've given mine to you.

You've made me hate my favourite bands
Guns n roses, Aerosmith, Nirvana, Linkin Park, The beatles.
Their songs remind me of you.
Makes me want to die a little.

Sleep does not come easy.
The bed feels like a coffin.
In every drop of tear I shed,
I can see your face laughing.

Five Two used to mean "Volim Te".
You said it to me, I to you.
Four Three also adds up to seven.
You don't need any explanation on that do you?

And now You say sorry,
trying to apologize.
I simply cannot forgive.
Cannot forget the lies.

I hope you're ready
for what's coming your way.
What goes around comes around.
Isn't that what they say

Let's talk about money

There was a movie that came out in 2003, called "The Core". It wasn't great. The storyline was questionable, the acting was sub-par, the CGI was okayish for the period. So why am I talking about a 14 year old strictly average movie in this post? Well, in this movie the plot revolves around a bunch of scientists that have to make a 'car'........well a vehicle that will be able to take them to the center of the earth. It will drill through miles and miles and miles of rock, iron and many other materials and then land them at the 'Core' of the planet. Well, I watched the movie and when they reached the core, there wasn't a big ball of money. But I thought that money makes the world go round, so shouldn't there have been a big ball of it right in the middle?..... hmm, maybe that oversight is why the movie kinda tanked.

From the 26 odd years of experience I've gathered on this earth, money maybe the single most powerful thing out there. It can buy you admiration of your fellow peers, all the comforts and luxuries that you fancy, even jealousy from those with less of it than you. It can even make you look better, 'cause of course a $250 haircut is gonna look better than a $5 one. But that enough? Is having shiny things and being surrounded by pretty people all that important? Do other things not matter?

Picture this: You meet a guy who is wearing a fancy suit, drives a fancy car, lives in an expensive house, and just cause of this you're supposed to be impressed by him? Well, I'm not. I would rather judge anyone by their brains and heart than the size of their wallets. I mean think about it, the rich dude could've made his money dealing in smuggling, dealing drugs, kidnapping children, or he may just have been lucky and was born in a rich family. This is why I don't care how much money someone has. Remember, a smart person will turn 5 to 5000, and someone not, will turn 50000000 into ashes.

I'm also glad that I wasn't born into the super rich. Cause at the end of the day, I know that the people that are with me, are here not cause of the money, they're here cause they value me for who I am as a person and will be here through the best and worst of times. And for that I'm grateful. Grateful for not having shiny things.

Let's talk about suicide

Kurt Cobain took his life in 1994, Chester Bennington did it 23 years later. Nirvana and Linkin Park have been in the top of my favourite band lists. I've watched documentaries on Kurt, and have tried to decipher what they were going through at the time by listening to their songs. These were extremely talented individuals who thought that it was better to die than to live on. They gave up. It was wrong. And here's why...


Suicide, to me, is like tapping out when the opponent (life) has you locked in a submission hold. I'd rather pass out than tap out. I've never been a coward. Even when I was being bullied in high school I would rather throw back a punch or two even if it meant receiving 15 more in return. Life is hard guys, but there's a certain beauty in it. Think about it, if you were to be given 69 trillion dollars right now, you would be ecstatic. You would wake up and think of the various ways you were going to be spending money that day. But that might be fun for a month, maybe even a year, heck maybe even years. But eventually you would be bored out of your mind. Eventually the mindless spending will not give you joy, it will become a chore.


I think life's hurdles are what makes life worth living. Sure you may fall, but fight, get back up, and kick it in the balls. Giving up and quitting is the most "pussy" thing you can do. Life cannot throw a riddle at you that there is no answer to, it cannot, you just have to find it. And find it you must, because giving up is not the answer. You may be depressed or heart-broken, you may have been fired or lost a lot of money, and taking that last step off the ledge seems like a better option than to keep on living. But remember this, anything broken can be rebuilt. ANYTHING. And you don't have to go through these tough times alone, seek help, a friend, a family member, even a therapist. Pretty much anyone who cares enough to listen. And if you have nobody, give me a call.


So put down that shotgun, untie that noose, take a step back from that ledge, flush those pills, put away that knife. Don't give in, don't give up. Fight. Survive.


Goodluck

Onwards and forwards?

Everything I do

I'm reminded of you.

Shaving my beard

or youtubing something weird.

Thinking of the heat or of the snow

or Even drinking a cup of joe.

Listening to some tunes

or looking at the moon.

Waking up or going to bed

or even just breaking bread.

How can I move on leaving all behind

when you refuse to leave my mind?