Bliss

The room is dark,

but I can still see your face.

There is none

that could be a better place.

Your eyes wander

from side to side.

Do you dream of snowy mountains?

Of golden meadows?

Of the ocean's tides?

A lock of your hair tries to conceal

a part of you away from me.

I slide it back in place.

I must gaze upon you in entirety.

Your lips tremble

if I try to move away.

Lay still I will

till its finally day.

You snuggle in closer.

My pulse races like a freight train.

Yes, I am addicted.

You are my cocaine.

It is almost daybreak.

The sun will be here soon.

Why can't this night last forever?

Why do you have to leave O moon?

Your eyes open up slowly.

You say Good morning.

I have no words to speak,

rendered speechless by your beauty, darling.

How could you?

I was perfectly fine
drinking my sorrows away.
You came bearing light.
It was the dawn of a new day.

You gave me hope.
Showed me a way.
But in the end,
all you did was betray.

You took away the hope.
Shattered all the dreams.
Just for a prettier face
& shinier things it seems.

You made such promises.
Turned my I's to We's.
What did he have that I didn't?
Diamonds on his P?

There were signs, red flags even.
But I chose to trust and ignore.
I was warned by JD, Mahak
and many more.

How could you hate your own last name
so much that anything else would do?
All you had to do was wait.
I would've given mine to you.

You've made me hate my favourite bands
Guns n roses, Aerosmith, Nirvana, Linkin Park, The beatles.
Their songs remind me of you.
Makes me want to die a little.

Sleep does not come easy.
The bed feels like a coffin.
In every drop of tear I shed,
I can see your face laughing.

Five Two used to mean "Volim Te".
You said it to me, I to you.
Four Three also adds up to seven.
You don't need any explanation on that do you?

And now You say sorry,
trying to apologize.
I simply cannot forgive.
Cannot forget the lies.

I hope you're ready
for what's coming your way.
What goes around comes around.
Isn't that what they say

Let's talk about money

There was a movie that came out in 2003, called "The Core". It wasn't great. The storyline was questionable, the acting was sub-par, the CGI was okayish for the period. So why am I talking about a 14 year old strictly average movie in this post? Well, in this movie the plot revolves around a bunch of scientists that have to make a 'car'........well a vehicle that will be able to take them to the center of the earth. It will drill through miles and miles and miles of rock, iron and many other materials and then land them at the 'Core' of the planet. Well, I watched the movie and when they reached the core, there wasn't a big ball of money. But I thought that money makes the world go round, so shouldn't there have been a big ball of it right in the middle?..... hmm, maybe that oversight is why the movie kinda tanked.

From the 26 odd years of experience I've gathered on this earth, money maybe the single most powerful thing out there. It can buy you admiration of your fellow peers, all the comforts and luxuries that you fancy, even jealousy from those with less of it than you. It can even make you look better, 'cause of course a $250 haircut is gonna look better than a $5 one. But that enough? Is having shiny things and being surrounded by pretty people all that important? Do other things not matter?

Picture this: You meet a guy who is wearing a fancy suit, drives a fancy car, lives in an expensive house, and just cause of this you're supposed to be impressed by him? Well, I'm not. I would rather judge anyone by their brains and heart than the size of their wallets. I mean think about it, the rich dude could've made his money dealing in smuggling, dealing drugs, kidnapping children, or he may just have been lucky and was born in a rich family. This is why I don't care how much money someone has. Remember, a smart person will turn 5 to 5000, and someone not, will turn 50000000 into ashes.

I'm also glad that I wasn't born into the super rich. Cause at the end of the day, I know that the people that are with me, are here not cause of the money, they're here cause they value me for who I am as a person and will be here through the best and worst of times. And for that I'm grateful. Grateful for not having shiny things.

Let's talk about suicide

Kurt Cobain took his life in 1994, Chester Bennington did it 23 years later. Nirvana and Linkin Park have been in the top of my favourite band lists. I've watched documentaries on Kurt, and have tried to decipher what they were going through at the time by listening to their songs. These were extremely talented individuals who thought that it was better to die than to live on. They gave up. It was wrong. And here's why...


Suicide, to me, is like tapping out when the opponent (life) has you locked in a submission hold. I'd rather pass out than tap out. I've never been a coward. Even when I was being bullied in high school I would rather throw back a punch or two even if it meant receiving 15 more in return. Life is hard guys, but there's a certain beauty in it. Think about it, if you were to be given 69 trillion dollars right now, you would be ecstatic. You would wake up and think of the various ways you were going to be spending money that day. But that might be fun for a month, maybe even a year, heck maybe even years. But eventually you would be bored out of your mind. Eventually the mindless spending will not give you joy, it will become a chore.


I think life's hurdles are what makes life worth living. Sure you may fall, but fight, get back up, and kick it in the balls. Giving up and quitting is the most "pussy" thing you can do. Life cannot throw a riddle at you that there is no answer to, it cannot, you just have to find it. And find it you must, because giving up is not the answer. You may be depressed or heart-broken, you may have been fired or lost a lot of money, and taking that last step off the ledge seems like a better option than to keep on living. But remember this, anything broken can be rebuilt. ANYTHING. And you don't have to go through these tough times alone, seek help, a friend, a family member, even a therapist. Pretty much anyone who cares enough to listen. And if you have nobody, give me a call.


So put down that shotgun, untie that noose, take a step back from that ledge, flush those pills, put away that knife. Don't give in, don't give up. Fight. Survive.


Goodluck

Onwards and forwards?

Everything I do

I'm reminded of you.

Shaving my beard

or youtubing something weird.

Thinking of the heat or of the snow

or Even drinking a cup of joe.

Listening to some tunes

or looking at the moon.

Waking up or going to bed

or even just breaking bread.

How can I move on leaving all behind

when you refuse to leave my mind?

Fire

Fire

Fearless & proud.

Does what it wants,

not what it's allowed.

An absolute

Unflawed.

Perfect Destroyer

A creation of God.

Insane

but still holds clarity.

Has but one job

& does it with sincerity.

At Peace

Beyond doubts & fears.

Does not question,

is extremely clear.

Beautiful, majestic.

Has one purpose, to eat.

I wonder, if this consumption,

will ever make it complete.

Or shall it remain hungry?

Always wanting, needing more.

When is the time to stop?

Who is keeping score?




to be continued...

Doubts

Life is a lake, we're at one end and we need to get across to the other. We can't walk around it,or swim through it and there is no boat.

All we have are these stones and we have to jump from one to another. These stones are the people in our life, we can find a stone and it may turn out to be a rock and we may stay with the rock for more than we stay with a stone but when the time comes, we nee

d to let go and move on to another stone.

I have found my rock, but the rock is wobbly, maybe she doesn't want to be my rock and want another.

Should I hold on and hope the rock will stabilize and let me be with her or do I move on and search for another rock?

What if the rock never stabilizes and I just end up wasting my time? What if I move on hoping to find another rock and never find one and reach the end?

Questions, doubts cloud my mind, unsure as to what the next move should be :|

What to write about?

It’s been more than an year
Since I put my pen to good use.
The poet inside me has been living in fear.
Or maybe the will to write has been reduced.

There’s not much to write about these days.
Long gone are the days of first love.
“You’re not good enough for me” she says
Maybe that’s what’s written in the book above.

I could write about the stars and skies
It is after all a beautiful night tonight.
But this too, like all good things, will come to end
And again I shall be left with nothing to depend.

I could write about those I’ve lost.
scribble some words of love and hate.
But the time for that has crossed.
And now it’s way…way too late.

Could write about the disappointment I’ve caused,
To those who’ve loved me.
But all is not lost.
This, I can remedy.

I could write about a million things right now
But my heart keeps going back to love.
It doesn’t even matter anymore
‘coz she already said that I wasn’t good enough.

An untitled couplet

I've cried enough and now I want a fresh start
You may be gone, but have left footprints on my heart...

My Facebook friend

I met a girl while playing mafia wars,
'Don Koprivnica' was her name.
We exchanged virtual guns and cars
and each others' acquaintance we became.

I browsed through her photographs
and thought she was very cute.
We chatted for about an hour and a half,
her approach towards studies made me go mute.

She lives thousands of miles away,
and we have completely different tastes.
Still, chatting with her brightens my day
and I always sign out with a smile on my face.

She has become a very dear friend of mine
and I hope I've become the same of her's.
I wish we didn't have between us all these miles
and that she come here on a student transfer.

I hope this friendship never comes to an end.
Many thanks to Facebook for giving me such a wonderful friend.

The Silent Assassin

She was dressed smartly
all in blacks.
I was caught off-guard
unaware of the impending attack.

Like moth to a flame,
I was drawn to her.
She noticed the victim vulnerable
& got ready to pull the trigger.

Her big dark eyes
seemed like an endless well.
I think she already knew
that I was under her spell.

Luscious lips, chubby cheeks, slim waist,
She had 'em all.
For her unmatched beauty,
I had taken the fall.

A rush of blood I felt,
as I touched her silken skin.
Drifting in the moment was I,
Good and bad seemed akin.

Her majestic dark hair
could turn day into night.
I bet she knew within minutes,
that I'll go down without a fight.

She moved with grace & pride.
It seemed nothing could block her way.
I wondered 'Had my time come?
Was this the day?'

And then She looked towards me.
Curling her lips into a breathtaking smile.
The bullet had been fired.
But ALAS! I wasn't in the firing line!

Th bullet cloaked as a smile
was meant for someone else.
No one ever knew my pain.
My heart cried in vain for help.

And so this tale ends
in utter despair brought by harsh reality.
That my heart had been a victim
Of a bullet that didn't even touch me.

'A Best Friend' .... The best friend??

For a long time in my life,
I didn't have a best friend.
But then I met someone,
who wanted to be together till the end.

Soon casual calls turned to hourly chats
with apparently no topic at all.
And intellectual jokes turned to
silly limericks like 'humpty dumpty sat on a wall.'

Every IM brought a pair of smiles
and long hours ran off in seconds.
But milk does turn sour after a while.
And all good things must come to an end.

The friendship ended in misconceptions
and she took an oath to never look back.
I had lost my best friend.
Was it less than a heart attack?

She probably has a better life now
with some fancy new best friend.
But I still look for answers...
Can broken pottery be mend?

But life stops for none.
What's been done is done.
The dark night will surely pass
and there will be a new bright sun.

Will this sun bring along new friends
one of whom, someday, I could call my best?
Will there be many to choose from?
Is this yet another one of life's tests?

Do I really want a new best friend?
The answers to this I seek.
Does 'THE BEST FRIEND' really even exists?
Can she be found in spite of the chances bleak?

Are best friends even that important?
Do they really take us far?
Today I stand 'best-friend-less'
Do I really like the way things are?

I want to be nobody's best friend
and none to be mine.
'Coz the last time a best friend & I broke up
letting her go sure took a lot of time.

The unforgettable tale of Titanic

Titanic - The ship of dreams
The ship many thought was unsinkable
The safest ship it seemed
Embarking on its maiden journey,All set to rumble

Holding 1520 souls on board
It set out for America's gate
But fate had something else in hold
Unknown misery laid dormant,in wait

Two people from completely different backgrounds
leading very different lives
With their fates soon to be intertwined
Set their feet on board for an unforgettable voyage

Rose DeWitt Bukater soon to be Rose Hockley
returning to America in an invisible cage
bounded in unseen chains of misery
Soon to be caged forever by a forced marriage

Jack Dawson,A man poor monetarily but a king at heart
Came to ride on the waves of the Atlantic
riding on the waves of fate
A vagabond,with another home he was happily parting

The cupid is known to strike unexpectedly,this was an example.
A bird finally found her wings and broke the cage
and flew around with her lover on the ship unsinkable
And then,fate's true cards were shown......

Titanic was struck by a mountain of ice
The wounded ship wouldn't stay afloat for long
The engines stopped roaring and to be heard were insane cries
Courage made way for cowardice,drowned in icy fear were men strong.

Titanic sank to the floor of the Atlantic
and so did thousands of men.
Over was the story that just started
Jack died too...and Rose mourned

But she was rescued just in time
Carpathia arrived and some lucky ones were saved
The ill-fated night was over and there was sunshine
But still thousands lay on the ocean floor dead

Though Jack and Rose couldn't stay together for long
But Jack did gave her a reason to have a fresh start
and his memories shall remain in her heart forever
Just as Titanic's memories shall remain in our hearts.

The plant that died

We met and became friends
and the seed was sown.
With constant love and care,
into a promising plant, it was grown.

With each passing second,
the plant grew stronger.
With every ounce of care
it's roots grew longer.

The harsh winds of misconception,
it faced without a scratch.
It grew so strong that even
storms of distrust were no match.

Then came the end
of a bond so pure.
You wanted to quit
& you wanted it no more.

You uprooted the plant
& left it in the scorching sun.
I watched & cried in vain
as the dismal act couldn't be undone.

I called and called
but you never replied
and our beautiful plant
had finally died.

Condemned - For the ones who have loved and lost

I always loved you I truly did
I dreamt of us together and u left in the mid
After that the dream was an agony
Which has become my destiny

I dreamt of you night and day
We walking on a beach and sitting on hay
But you left and turned my dream into a freaking nightmare
You were my love and now you are my greatest fear

U have left leaving me to such brutality
Seems breaking hearts is your specialty
I fail to understand how a human heart can be so bent
for you left,condemning me to lifetime punishment

I see you in my dreams every night
and these days my dreams give me terrible frights
I see you when I see two lovers together
And remember your fake promises to be together forever

Oh please stop this torture
For i have searched and found no cure
Leave my mind as I am already dimmed
For i have loved and lost and for this I am condemned

All I do is smile

I Drive the pain deep inside
Try to pass out the night and wait for the day
I try to keep the failures aside
But they keep coming in my way

I try to keep my friends close
But they have decided to part ways
When fallen in pits I tried but never rose
seems in my paths an eternal failure lays

I keep quite enduring all pain
waiting for success to cross paths
but I watch in utter disdain
as my success is locked behind the bars

I try to remain calm and composed
when my loved ones leave
for them I am being disposed
and this for them is a relief

And when i cry
i quickly calm myself
and wash up my eyes
Still agony sneaks near via stealth

I loose all hope
I loose all those who were near
I see no scope
Still its a smile that I wear...

A joy experienced never before

This noon when I revisited
the little earthen pot
that I've daily refilled
for so many years;
I saw a pigeon
quenching its thirst
with the elixir,
pecking its beak
at the fragile surface,
and the pearls
that dropped back from its beak.

Soon it was joined
by many of its mates
and they all drank merrily
and flew away.

I don't know why
but this gave me
a joy experienced never before
The joy of helping
a creation of the almighty.

A dying seed

The day I met you
nothing remained the same.
I couldn't stop thinking
of meeting you again.

When we became friends
I shared every secret with you
& wished you would keep 'em safe.
Thankfully my wish came true.

Now I think there is more to us than just friends
well atleast from my side.
For if this was untrue,
How would you come in my dreams every night?

But even true love is worthless
if it isn't returned as well.
Will you have the same feelings,
Who can possibly tell?

I have no courage
to tell you how I feel.
A denial, You don't know,
What would mean.

I am virtually screaming
"Would anyone tell her how much I want her"
But I simply cannot take
'No' for an answer.

I must hold myself back.
If not, it'll make you feel stabbed from behind.
I must face the reality,
that you can never be mine.

You are much too beautiful
for someone like me.
For I am just a plant
while you deserve a tree.

These feelings must be killed
for they have no tomorrow.
Any delay in doing so
will only lead to sorrow.

I must control my heart
and empower my mind.
This ain't anything new.
This happens all the time.

Sometimes a beautiful seed dies
that could've grown into a plant
in absence of
the water that it wants.